Fat

I have something I need to say to you all. It’s been a long time coming, and I have to go through with it. After all, it has been built up so much I must tell now.

I am FAT.

There, I said it. i am a size 24 pants, 18 dress, and 14-16 top. I have a 38C bra size, and that’s at Wal-Mart, which runs big. I have a BMI of 41. I am fat by any definition you want to lay down. I don’t even care that much if my friends call me fat, although I will feign anger, and it will sting a little bit if I’m having a bad day. But this brings me to my point.

EVEN IF I EXPAND TO BE A FUCKING HIPPO, ONLY MY FRIENDS CAN CALL ME FAT. THAT MEANS YOU, ANYBODY WHO IS READING.

So in gym class last Tuesday this boy called me fat. Well, to put it in context, he said I was too fat to get on the raft our class made. By the way, we were swimming, and my insecurity is always magnified twenty times whenever I’m in a swimsuit. I think this holds true for all women/girls. By the way, this guy used to weigh just as much as me, but lost all the weight bike riding because he is kind of a BAMF in that way. So we are in the same gym class, and I tell him about my bipolar and stuff. We were semi-close in middle school, and I thought he was a nice guy. He calls me fat, and I say “Shut the fuck up.” He giggles a little.

Pissed off, I leave and go tell the four other girls in my 28 person gym class, and we spend the rest of the class talking about his massive bitch tits. I tell a couple of my closest friends, and also my guidance counselor, Mr. Giant Teddy Bear, or GTB.

So about a week and a half has passed, and I am innocently on Facebook when suddenly it says “Bikeriding BAMF is messaging you,” in the form of a blinking box in the corner. I click on it, and, lo and behold, he starts bitching about how everyone is giving him shit for calling me that, and how he said “we,” are fat, not “you.” He then goes on to tell me about how depressed he is, and how this is pushing him over the edge.

This is desperate talk. I’ve been in that position before, and i know there are no words to describe how bad it feels. I’m almost in tears over this. What should I do?

Hamlet Quote of the Day: Not so, my lord, I am too much in the sun.

May 5, 2010. About the Child, Creepy!, Lamentations, Mortal Coil, Scholarly Endeavours.